How do I ask for a recommendation and make it easy to write?

Start with a short, personal request rather than attaching a long document immediately. Remind them when and how you worked together, state what the recommendation is for, and ask whether they’d feel comfortable providing one. That last part gives them room to say no without having to invent an excuse.

If they agree, send a compact packet with:

1. The opportunity or purpose, plus the role or program description if useful.
2. The deadline and what the recipient needs: for example, a letter, a reference call, or a form.
3. The format and submission instructions, using placeholders if you don’t yet have them.
4. A few relevant achievements or examples they personally observed.

Keep the request focused on helping them recall your work, not telling them what conclusion to reach.

Pick two or three examples that connect to the opportunity and that this person could plausibly remember or verify from working with you. Make each one concrete: what the situation was, what you did, and what changed or was delivered. Avoid presenting a team result as solely yours; describe your contribution accurately.

For instance, a hypothetical note might say: “On the [project name] rollout, I coordinated [specific workstream] and prepared [deliverable] for [audience].” If you have a factual outcome you can share, add it; otherwise, don’t guess at a number or claim an impact you can’t support. You can say, “These are reminders, not required talking points—please use only what matches your own recollection.”

Here’s a copyable version. Replace the bracketed text, remove anything irrelevant, and check the recipient’s actual instructions before sending.

Subject: Recommendation request for [opportunity]

Hi [Name],

I appreciated working with you on [team or project] at [organization] during [time period]. I’m applying for [role, program, or other purpose], and I wanted to ask whether you’d feel comfortable recommending me based on our work together. It’s completely fine if your schedule or circumstances don’t allow it.

If you’re able, the recommendation is due [date] and needs to be [format and length, if specified], submitted through [submission method or placeholder]. I’ve included the relevant description and a few reminders below. Please use only examples you remember and feel comfortable discussing.

Relevant context: • Opportunity: [name and short description] • Work we shared: [team, project, or responsibility] • Possible examples you may recall: [specific contribution]; [specific contribution] • Deadline: [date, time, and time zone if relevant] • Format and instructions: [details or placeholder]

Would you let me know by [date] whether this is feasible? I’m happy to send any other useful context. Thank you for considering it.

Best, [Your name]

Attach or link only material that is relevant and appropriate to share. If the instructions are unclear, ask the recipient or application contact for clarification rather than asking the recommender to guess.

If the deadline is close, state the date plainly in your first request and ask whether it is workable before treating the person as confirmed. If you don’t hear back, send one brief, polite follow-up after a reasonable interval, repeating the deadline and offering an easy way to decline. Don’t imply they agreed just because you asked.

Once they confirm, thank them and share any missing instructions promptly. If the deadline passes or plans change, tell them and thank them for their time. Keep a simple record of whom you asked, their response, and any agreed next step; don’t list someone as a recommender without their consent.